Reactive Behaviors Affect Relationships

For most of us, there are times when our impulsive reactions to our feelings get in the way of healthy relationships. Oftentimes, the deeper the connection with one another, the more we let it all hang out and spew our feelings before checking in to see where they are coming from.

Those we love most, good friends and close co-workers may get the full impact of our “no- holes- barred” response to a trigger that they may deliberately or inadvertently set us off with. If we know it was deliberate, look out! Our negative reaction may be tenfold.

Let’s face it; it’s much more appealing to jump in to a place of “I’m right and I’m going to make you see that” than it is to hang out with the truth of what we’re feeling. When not in a place of being triggered, our intentions may be to always respond rationally and mindfully to others, but all bets are off when we’re in that emotionally reactive place.

Our gut response is a habitual way of resisting what is really happening in our mind and body. It may repel, incite, harm or shame others and their reactions to our words and behaviors can have the same impact on us. When we know someone really well, we may even respond irrationally to what we believe they are thinking! These “stories” are fodder for another article soon to come…

The longer and more frequently this type of interaction goes on in relationships, further damage may be done. Organization & Relationship Systems Coaching can help repair these relationships. It will provide you with new ways of responding to each other.

Even if you can’t get the whole team on board and are being coached individually, you will be amazed at the ripple effect. When your reactions begin to shift and you are no longer bringing that dysfunction to relationships, there is inevitably a positive shift in the entire “system”- be it a couple, a family, a large group or a business.

Check out this great article titled “Let It Rain” from Yoga Journal. RAIN (acronym) deconditions the habitual ways in which you resist your moment-to-moment experience.

Recognize what is happening.
Allow life to be just as it is.
Investigate inner experience with kindness.
Nonidentification.

Contact Forward Bound Consulting for a free consultation if this reactive behavior is happening in your home or business.